"Alright guys! Oh, and girl..." 😬 My experience as a female developer
We have the honour to share a guest blog of one of our community members: Aagje Reynders
As a young developer, I just reached the four years experience mark. Lately, I have been reflecting on everything that happened during my junior career: I worked on multiple consultancy projects, I am helping with marketing and branding, and I am working on diversity and inclusion. A lot has happened in only four years, and I love looking back at my journey.
However, during this reflection, there was one thing that I thought was quite surprising and what I do feel like I am missing... I never worked together with another female developer on the same project. Sure, I've met some female devs and I have worked together with female project managers, analysts, designers, and so on. Nevertheless, I just realized how isolated I felt by always being surrounded by men.
Am I saying my company is female-unfriendly? No. Quite the contrary. There would be a lot of companies that wouldn't allow publishing this blog. Instead, at Wheelhouse, we think this is an important matter that we have to discuss and should not censor. I work as a consultant which means that my experience is broad as I have been working in many different environments for the last four years. The issues I talk about aren't about one company or specific people. It is an industry, or even society wide issue that I want to create awareness around. Thanks to the support of Wheelhouse, I have been able to talk about this very honestly and transparently. I want to move the needle on this topic by talking about it, so people can take notes and try to make sure they don't make these (subconscious) mistakes.
Isolation
At the time, I blamed myself for being isolated because I was not assertive enough, easy to forget, or simply not as experienced. Regardless, there have been a lot of moments where I felt like the odd one out. Let me make myself clear: I rarely experienced someone explicitly doubting my skills because of my gender. However, I feel that sometimes, there is an unconscious bias. To illustrate my point, here are some examples:
When someone gives a technical explanation, they often look to another male developer or you are the last one to mention. "You can always ask me, him, or him." Pause, looks at me, realization* "... or Aagje, of course". Don't forget the shameful oh-snap-I-forgot-you-can code. 🙄
When a meeting starts or ends with "alright boys". Or even worse when they awkwardly add "and girl". Yup. Singular. Always glad to be reminded that I am the only one.
When they forget you are in the room. Remember the story about Eddy Demarez (sports journalist at VRT), talking disrespectfully about the ladies of the Belgian cats, not knowing they were still live on radio? I sometimes witness that in professional settings. The more women you have at the table, the fewer men cave vibes you get (another reason to hire those women!). However, when you are the only woman present, the men cave vibes somehow emerge. Of course, there is nothing harmful when they are talking about so-called 'men stuff', other than those being boring topics where I am not able to partake in the conversation. However, it gets worse when they start talking disrespectfully about their Tinder dates, other female professionals, or how annoying their wives are...
What's the impact of this isolation?
Of course, I can only talk from my own experience. Though, most of the time, when I talk to other female developers, they relate to my stories. One of the biggest impacts of isolation is my fear to prove to everyone that I, as a woman, am not technically skilled enough.
This is also known as imposter syndrome. Keep in mind that also men can have imposter syndrome. My fear, however, is definitely fed by gender stereotypes. As a young developer, I have often heard people talk about bad female developers, and I started to fear that colleagues would talk like that about me as well. That's why I am scared to show my code to male colleagues and why I feel hesitant to ask technical questions. Somehow, I am convinced that they are going to judge my knowledge. It's funny that I don't feel like this while designing.
Moreover, I feel pressured to be the "chill" one. There are two common types that can describe the personality of a woman at work. When she is friendly, can laugh with dark (/sexist) jokes, and is one-of-the-boys; they call her chill.
It's another story when she has a mind of her own, isn't afraid to give a strong opinion, and is confident in her work. This kind of woman is often antagonised by colleagues. They call her easily triggered, emotional, and annoying. I have respect for the latter type of women, not caring about social expectations.
What we can do about this...
This would be a worthless blog if I only complain but don't give some pointers on how we can make the situation better. Remember: small actions can make a huge impact, whether you are a man or a woman.
What can you do as a woman?
Support other women. Go to the Womandotcode Discord, try to participate with Clusity events, or simply stick by your female colleagues. Never bring down other women and team up!
Be confident about your skills. Let's fight these gender norms. Goodbye imposter syndrome. 👋🏼
Try to stand your ground. When your head is telling you that you are not as good because you are a woman, you don't have enough experience, or you don't want to oversell yourself... Try to recognize that these are irrational fears. Learn how to ignore them because you should share your expertise.
What can you do as a company?
As a company, you should keep in mind that until women stop being a minority (especially among developers), they will always be object of micro discrimination, as they are the 'others' in relation to the dominant culture ("what's a girl doing in our men cave" 🤨). So, let's see what you could do as a company to balance the numbers:
Hire more women
This one is obvious, I know. And it isn't easy either. However, don't wait for a woman to join. At some point, when your company consists of only men, probably no one will want to be "the first woman". So, go look for them, target women in your social media posts, stop using blue as your main colour, there are more colours on the colour wheel, build an environment where they feel welcome. (Needless to say: hire them for their skills and not because of their gender. However, that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to broaden your network by looking extra hard for females).
Try to include your minority in conversations (not only women but also people of colour, people who aren't native speakers, ...) And NOT by saying: Oh, you are a woman, how do you feel about this. (Trust me, this happens more than you think). Just try to find a common ground. Gender is a construct, we aren't that different.
Include them when deciding a team day
Work events are really important to feel included in the company. Keep in mind that not everyone enjoys stereotypical sporty or gaming-related afterwork event. Try to put together a diverse team when deciding about a team day!
💡 Must read for everyone working on diversity in tech: 'Brotopia: Breaking Up the Boys' Club of Silicon Valley' by Emily Chang
Conclusion
There is still some work to do to make the men-dominated IT environment inclusive and diverse. However, I love my job. In fact, I'm hyped to share my passion with people who think IT is something they can't do because of stereotypes. Let's break those stereotypes, inspire girls to pick a STEM field, and make our workplace a safe space for everyone. 💪